In 15 minutes I leave for treatment #7 – only ONE more to go – YEAH! A couple months ago, I never thought I’d make it to this point. I would NOT have if my heavenly Daddy weren’t walking every step with me. With His LOVE, STRENGTH, COMFORT I AM going to make it!
One thing that I have begun doing that is fun and very helpful is this: My God has HUNDREDS of names. Every morning I pick one of those names that my heavenly Daddy needs to be to me that day – like this morning – my STRENGTH. It overwhelms me how many things my God is to me! After a few days – weeks - of this activity – you finally start to grasp that you can’t do life without GOD. You need Him in all of His hundreds of roles. He is everything!
So, it’s much easier to commit myself – mind, body, and soul – to my heavenly Daddy! Who else can make sense of my life and help me live it to it’s fullest and with complete peace and joy!
My computer was done this morning (power outage) so I thought I’d update this. I’m home from treatment. Because I know have 3 of these in my body the meds are starting to take harder side effects. The METAL TASTE IS BACK- YUCK. I’m keeping cold on in my mouth because I can felt he mouth sores starting already. I’m achier and sore all ready. SO, it’s harder than the last two – BUT ONLY ONE MORE TO GO!
My heavenly Daddy was my strength during the treatment and He will be my comfort these next couple of days. He is my HOPE for the future! He has never let me down!
I don’t have anything very profound to say today, but it’s been a while since I gave you an update. I’m doing great. I have some side effects but all that I can easily deal. I’m trying to live life like I did before being a cancer survivor and I’m doing pretty well – although Tuesday, my body was very clear to tell me to SLOW DOWN. I almost slept the whole day. So, fatigue wise, I’m not back yet.
I have been amazed at how God is using me and using others in my life to make me “SEE” Him even more. You think you are so close and know God so well and then you see Him working in ways you can’t imagine. I’m absolutely in awe of my God. He is working in people all around me and I feel so honored to be working with some of those people.
We have friends that just decided they didn’t need to go too far to be on the mission field. They just moved their family – the couple and 2 high school kids – to a 3 bedroom apartment at a low-income housing development on East side Bakersfield (the side you don’t go to unless you have locks on your car etc) By living there, it opens the doors for Jesus Shack to come in and hold bible studies and more. Matter of fact, I’ll be in my element because they have asked me to coordinate and head up a VBS for all the kids there at that complex. That’s my heaven. I love giving to those kids! They appreciate everything!! So, we’ll have games, and snacks, and crafts, and of course story time (which I will look forward to). God has given me the passion for His children – to let them in on the good news of how much He loves them. This will be SO incredible! You can start praying for me now that I have the energy and the wisdom to know just want to say and have them do – it’s going to be in mid-July.
Our church is doing a series on our bodies. They are trying to convey to us that we don’t have to have the bodies of a model etc. We need to love our bodies – take care of them – and remember they belong to God. Next week is the final week and they are wrapping up with broken bodies. Yes, some earthly bodies are broken and we have to deal with that – but we have hope for the future because we’ll have new perfect bodies in heaven. So, I did a video of my story – my broken body and side effects etc from the cancer – but my hope for my eternal body. It’s not something I really enjoy – but I hope my story helps someone else who is suffering with a broken body on this earth.
SO, God is awesome. He is opening so many doors and allowing Lon and I to serve Him – something in the past may have “gotten in the way of my schedule” but now something I wake up every morning wondering just how He wants to use me! What a new me – what a much more joyful me! When you truly put yourself aside and live for God every day that’s when you will feel the most complete! Here’s to being God’s servants!
By the way, some of you have asked in the past if there was a way you could send a gift to help with my medical bills (which will end up being over $20,000 by the time we are done). FIRST, know I am NOT ASKING for help (God will provide) but if God has lead you to feel you can help a little you can now send a gift to LIFE JOURNEY CHRISTIAN CHURCH – and in the MEMO area write BENEVOULANCE FUND: BORNTREGERS and we will receive that gift and it will be a tax write off for you. The address is: 4100 Easton Dr. Suite 6, Bakersfield, CA 93309. Thanks now if you feel lead. Remember though that financial giving is NOT the only way you can support us! Please keep those prayers coming that Lon and I continue to look for ways to serve God, that my body continues to react well to the last 2 treatments, and that the cancer then stays away. Your prayers, calls and emails mean the world to me!!
LOVE YOU ALL!
I’m WORKING today and going to love every minute of it! With this new chemo drug, my side effects are much milder – no nausea. SO, I feel more like a normal person. I can’t push it – I take my naps – but I can function. It’s amazing what that does for a person – to feel like you are useful! I can be the wife, mom, and God’s servant that I want to be. I’m not just a blob sitting on the couch taking up space. It feels great.
God’s timing is always perfect – why can’t we remember that when we are in the valleys. I’m feeling well enough to really start my Creative Memories business here in Bakersfield. Matter of fact, today is National Scrapbook Day – my biggest event of the year! We’ll be working on our albums from Noon-8pm. I have worked hard making it special for my customers. We have displays of ideas, raffle prizes, games, and dinner. I make sure those ladies feel pampered today.
You know, feeling better and feeling like I’m “living” again reminds me the importance of being the album maker for my family. My albums are not just pictures – they are memories of times that God has given to our family. They are stories of the ups and downs of our families – the happy and sad times and more. Together, pictures and stories, remind us the blessings that God has given us – the provisions He has given us – the necessary skills and talents He has given us – the comfort and peace He has given to us in the harder times. My album is a tangible way to show my children that our God keeps His promises! He lives up to all of us names! When my family looks through our albums – page after page – we are re-living our journey with GOD!
Ok… this wasn’t meant to be an advertisement for my business. I just sit in awe today though first because my Healer has allowed my body to have strength to work today – and secondly, because my Heavenly Daddy is allowing me to help others see how He has been alive in their lives. That’s a gift when your job/career opens the door to talk about Jesus.
Look at your lives… how many doors do you have where you can be showing others who our God is??? Are you taking those opportunities or are you running away from them. Until these past 2 years – I ran and ran fast. Now, I sit in awe that God is giving me the responsibility to share with others. I’m in awe that He thinks that He can do that through me! I challenge you to look for those doors and open them wide as you step through them! There is NO BETTER FEELING than showing our God to someone that doesn’t know Him!
I thought I’d give you all an update on how I’m doing …
I had my 6th chemo treatment Monday – only 2 more to go – YEAH! This drug is easier because I have no nausea. I feel wonderful the first two days and then poof, my bones HURT, and I am fatigued. I am not complaining. I would take this drug over the other 2 any day. Even though I hurt and I am tired, I still feel like a normal person – just a glance at how my body will feel when I’m old! I did get mouth sores this time – that’s unusual. My tongue looks very “cut” up. So, you eat soft foods – I can deal.
It’s official, I have a couple stubs of hair on my legs and head – it may just return. At the same time, my eyebrows and eyelashes are not holding on any longer – it’s bye bye to eye hairs. Let’s hope someday they too will grow back.
The big news, I have a BOOB! No, it’s not reconstructive yet. I have a true prosthetic boob! They run $300-$400 and I couldn’t afford one – still can’t. I taped several plastic “boob enhancers” together and I have been wearing those up to now. They are uncomfortable because I had to tape several together, but they worked. Well, a wonderful Christian teacher at my kid’s school knew of a place where a Christian woman worked. This place makes prosthetics. Well, she called this lady and she had some that were “returned” after the women did have reconstructive surgery. I went over there – tried one on – and today I’m wearing a $400 boob! It looks natural – feels comfortable – and the best part, you can hug me and my boob squishes like a normal boob! PRAISE GOD for the blessings HE has given me – so many lately it’s hard to keep track!
My spirits are high because my heavenly Daddy is still walking the walk with me. I have never felt alone for a second. Even when I have a down day, He picks me up and tells me that tomorrow will be better. Although Cancer has become a way of life – it’s hard to believe I can ever be “normal” again – I am enjoying every day. I know that I am where God wants me to be and there is no better joy than that. I was telling a good friend about the blessings God is shinning on me and I loved her comment, “He really does take care of those who are obedient. If you ever have any doubts about whether you are in His will, you can use that as a gage. He will always bless you and provide for your needs when you are in His will.”
I am being blessed daily! I am full of joy! I am content!
Praise God
Wow, I haven’t blogged for a while because I’m feeling SO GOOD that I’m catching up for lost time and staying active. I thank God for these 3 weeks of a break. I have had energy to keep up with my household chores plus spend time casting vision for my Creative Memories Business as I’ll be working that full time after chemo. I do have my next treatment Monday. I am hoping that my body continues to do well with this drug – Taxol – but I’m prepared that with some of the drug working in me already, each treatment can have more side effects. We will deal and handle it as it comes.
God has really been busy teaching me a lesson that I’d like to share with you all. During the past two years, finances have been hard. The light is there as Lon’s business is really picking up and I’ll be able to start working on CM. However, chemo is expensive. So, to even pay monthly payments for doctors, hospitals, and the chemo, things stay tight. The big lesson I’m learning is how to RECEIVE gifts from others. Have you ever noticed how easy it is to be the “giver”. We all want to help out – make someone else’s day better – give a part of ourselves. To receive those gift means you need to put your pride aside, you need to be humble, you need to let go of control (the control of being totally self sufficient), and you need to appreciate. God has spoken loud and clear to me that He promised He would take care of my NEEDS. He did not ever say that would be through Lon’s and my job or own efforts. I am learning to realize that God is using others right now to help us out – that doesn’t make us lazy or irresponsible – it makes us a part of God’s family where family helps out family. That old pride can get in the way, but I’m definitely learning!
I have many people to thank! I have a neighbor who takes my kids when I’m having a bad day or just watches them so I can sleep. She babysits if I have doctor appointments or my chemo goes past when the kids get let out of school. She doesn’t ask for money or for me to watch her kids in return – she is just giving to our family.
I have one friend that makes me feel special – even bald and gaining weight from the chemo. She has taken me out for a “girly girl” type of lunch. She has purchased a bracelet that I can wear with pink ribbons reminding me that I will be a survivor. She sends me uplifting notes and cards. She’s letting me know I’m appreciated. She knows right now I can’t return those lovely gestures and that’s not what she is looking for. She is just being the type of friend that God has asked us to be.
I have a secret Angel. This wonderful Angel left a big box of food and supplies on my front porch yesterday. There is no way to identify my Angel. This Angel cares about my family and knows food is a need. My Angel is not looking for a pat on the back or the praise for giving. My Angel is giving in the quietness knowing that her reward comes from my heavenly Daddy smiling down saying, “job well done”!
My fellow Creative Memories team knows that the medical bills are incredible. They have sent gifts of money to help us cover a monthly payment here and there. This is not their duty or responsibility. They see our need and want to show us their love by helping us with our unexpected expenses.
We have a friend that fills in the blanks. Keona was enjoying some food at his house and she came home with more. My head did not like any pillow in the house and he showed up with an incredible pillow (if you ever go through chemo – I have the pillow for you). He stops by with little some things every once in a while – the extras that I don’t spend money on right now. He takes Keona to places I don’t have energy to go or can’t afford the gas. He is our “fun” giver.
One friend seems to “pick up too much food” when she goes shopping and some ends up on my front porch. She rents movies and makes sure that they watch them quickly so we can use them a few days. She leaves cards on my doorstep so when I go outside there is a surprise.
There are more friends that have also given to us and I appreciate them as well. I could write a chapter of a book just thanking these people.
Two years ago, I would have had to be able to return each act of kindness. My pride would make me want to “make it even”. I’d do that partially because you spend money on me I should spend it on you mentality. I’d also do it because I had the mind set that I was weak or irresponsible if I couldn’t do it all myself. Leaning on others wasn’t a gift it was a sign of failure to me. WOW, how God has changed that! I’m not saying that after chemo I’m going to keep taking 2 naps a day and not work. I’m saying that I’ll continue to do what I can and I will be confident that God will supply what I’m not able to through His family. It’s a HUGE lesson for me!
I thank each and every one of you that has listened to God and has acted in an incredible unselfish, caring, loving, compassionate, cheerful giving way to our family! Your love – in whatever way it was shown – IS VERY MUCH APPRECIATED! You have made us be able to survive. I thank you too for being a part of this great lesson I have learned. WE are GOD’S FAMILY and family will do WHATEVER it needs to for each other!
Praise God for adopting us and loving us and giving us family!