nodes of wisdom

LOVE COMES FIRST

As you have read in my past few entries, I haven’t been as “positive” as in the beginning. Well, that has changed. No, the thought of my next chemo treatment still makes me want to “throw up”, but my heart is back to where it needs to be!

Have you ever watched Extreme Home Maker Over – with Ty? That’s one of our family’s favorite shows! We love that show because it’s not about the house – the paint colors – the way they arranged the furniture. It’s about helping a family that needs help. These designers work SO HARD for 7 days – for lesser money than doing a glamorous “design show” because they have integrity and heart.

This week’s episode had me in tears of wonderment. An 8-year-old girl – who just finished battling a terrible type of cancer (she had chemo, radiation, and 2 bone marrow transplants) – sent ABC a tape hoping she would be picked. The kicker – she DIDN’T want them to do her house – she wanted them to help the hospital so other children would get better and be happier! You see, Cassandra didn’t like the white hospital walls! She felt that if they were brighter, she would have been more cheerful which would help her to heal quicker. She was worried about all of the other children that would be in those rooms in the future.

At the old age of 8, she felt that whether ABC was willing to help her or not – she was going to get those walls painted. She purchased wire, and tons of beads and began making necklaces to sell. All the money she earned was going to go to purchasing PAINT! It was so touching when right on her interview tape to ABC she said, “I would love your help – but if you can’t help me – I’ll make it happen!”

Of course ABC helped. Not only did they have the DISNEY DESIGN TEAM do the hospital (yes, every room was done in a Disney theme … Nemo, Princesses, Buzz Lightyear - and the common room It’s A SMALL WORLD – my favorite), ABC built this family a 5,000 sq. foot home for her, her parents, and her 5 siblings! In this huge home, was a theatre room, a HUGE bead room for more necklaces to be made, a real LIFE SIZE merry-go-round in the backyard and much more. Everything was in that home or on the property that a child needs. Why? ABC and Cassandra’s parents know that if Cassandra gets sick or if the cancer comes back, Cassandra will be called to heaven. Although praying for a long life, Cassandra’s odds are slim of living to see her grandchildren. They want to give her the happiest years they can.

Why did this show touch me so much – able to turn my heart around from depression to joy? I think it’s because I was reminded to think like a child! Cassandra had just lived through months of chemo – the baldhead and throwing up. She also had bone marrow transplants and I know from watching a friend that’s so hard and painful. She understands that her life might be short – and yet – her statement “LOVE COMES FIRST” is her motto to live by. That child has had more sadness and pain in her life than anyone should go through – and she walked away from it with a heart for others. She spends her time making necklaces to change the hospital for others! Instead of thinking about herself – her goal in life is to make life easier for others!

As adults – we loose that focus! I had a terrible week last week. I was angry and mad that I had to feel so miserable. I was ready to throw in the towel – enough is enough! You know, I didn’t think about anyone but me last week! I deserved to have it easier!

After watching Cassandra, I wonder what the other chemo patients need at CBCC???? I see the same people but I’ don’t know their stories. I’ve never asked and I have 5 hours where I can’t go very far! I do know without asking that there are people in that room that have it worse than I do. They may be battling cancer for the 2nd or 3rd time. They may have to have chemo everyday or every week vs. my every 3 weeks. They may have no family or church family to help them through this valley. I know there are needs!

Thinking about the room where I have chemo makes me feel nauseous. That room gives me nothing but side effects – the worse being this metal taste. I drive by that center and I feel sick to my stomach. That’s how I feel – and yet I have support and good odds to see my grandchildren! I go back on the 28th of this month for my next treatment. I am going to try to have Cassandra’s heart – and look at the people around me! I’m not sure they need the white walls to be painted Disney themes (although that may be fun), but I will try to see at least one person’s needs! I will try to remember “LOVE COMES FIRST!”

Posted by donnab at March 16, 2005 08:46 AM