Well, it can’t hurt to dream – but when the dream is over, you must move on!!! My dream of being the only person on this specific chemo and NOT loosing my hair is over today. Yes, Keona had great pleasure pulling out 15 hairs last night, and this morning, I lost over 100 hairs between showering and drying my hair. I am going to be BALD!
So, the dream is over, and it’s time to focus on the positive! With our financial situation, not having to purchase shampoo etc. will be a great help. I’ll have extra time not needing to dry or style. I have the most incredible hats – thanks to some of you – and I can wear them proudly!!
God has given me so much more than hair. He has given me eyes to see His beautiful creation and I feel blessed in CA with a mountain view. I have a mouth that can sing His praises and spread His love to others. He has given me a body that can take care of my husband and children and hug and kiss them. He has given me a body that is fighting to be healed! How amazing is our creator.
How many of you have read Psalms 139? When your body is not doing what you think it should – like loosing hair in clumps – this passage puts it all into perspective. Psalm 139:13-16, “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful. I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place; when I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.”
God took time to create each one of us in a unique and individual way – but also, in His image. Lon would say that I forget that too much. If I don’t like my weight, or my zits, or my extra tummy roll, or a baldhead etc., I loose my “like” for me. This passage and Lon remind me (and no, I don’t always listen and I need to) that when I am not happy with “me”, I’m not respecting God as my creator. He planned me... and molded me to His liking. He's a perfect God... He doesn’t make mistakes when He creates His children!
So, I am thankful that my baldness is not permanent, but during the experience, I will remember to praise God for the way He created me and I will “like” me!