It’s Sunday so you go to church. You figure you’ve been going to church for years and years – what knew could the Pastor talk about today. I’ve heard it all before. Can today really impact me that much!?
I sat and listened today to a sermon on “The Good Samaritan”. I have read that parable 100 times – heard a sermon on it hundred Sundays – even taught it 100 times to children through my pre-school teaching days, the Kid’s Ministry at Life Journey, and to my own kids. I KNOW every detail … WRONG! First, did you know that it was OK for the Priests to walk on by – well it was – but that’s not where I’m going with this (I can get you a CD of the sermon to find out why it was OK). J What I HEARD for the first time is how God was talking and showing the “COST” it can take to love your neighbor; not just the “good heart” you need – but the cost you may have!
Maybe I’ve heard it many times before – but it hit me today so much differently – maybe because of my Breast Cancer! God knows and expects us to all have a “cost” for choosing to love our neighbors. As in the parable, your cost could be time – that’s HUGE! We all know that are time is our most valuable commodity – we can’t afford to “give” it away. It may cost you money – which takes your time to earn. There is always something you can use that money for that will benefit you or your family! Those are the obvious costs.
As I sat listening today, I was thinking what cost does God want me to offer for my neighbors… Um duh … my health! Yes, I’m actually saying this cancer MAYBE from GOD in GOD’S plan – grasp that one! Normally, when people get cancer or some other life threatening sickness, we say that God “allowed” it and He can use it for our good. What if God didn’t just “allow” it but “planned” it?? That is something most of us can’t think about – how can a “loving” God afflict us with sickness or death. What if that is the “cost” God wants me to give for my neighbors? Do I then turn my back and tell God it’s too big of a cost? Do I get angry with God and tell Him there could have been a different way?
The cost of my cancer could actually bring someone to know God in a personal way and then they would have the gift of eternal life. Here are some examples …
My family doctor called me on Nov 22nd to tell me I had cancer. You could hear his voice shivering – the words there on his tongue. He finally found sound to put behind the words, “Donna, I’m so sorry to tell you, but it was cancer!” Ok, I was in shock! I was in too much shock to do anything but say, “OK, thanks so much for telling me. I really appreciate your personal touch. You have been a real God thing for our family. Just let me know what our next step is and let’s get started!” I think this blew him away. He was anticipating me to break down – or to be angry – or to just plain loose it. I didn’t – well maybe I did – but God spoke through me so quickly that he or I didn’t know it. My doctor saw strength and a positive attitude. He heard me say that God and I would make it! That Sunday, he was at our church just to see me and find out how my mastectomy went. He had not been inside of a church for a while is my understanding. He couldn’t stay for the whole service – he was on call – but he’s coming back. My family doctor is COMING BACK to check out a church!
I have a neighbor that I chit chat with on occasions. Well, she has never known anyone with cancer – yes, I’m her first. She wants to be “a part” of this for me. She wants to “do something” for me. We used to just talk as the kids walked to the bus stop but now she comes to the house very often to see what she can do for me. Sounds like a good neighbor! Every time she comes down, she asks me questions looking for me to say I’m depressed or angry or bitter etc. She never hears that from me. She’s not the only one looking for me to be extremely negative. She asked me why I’m so strong and I was given the opportunity to tell her I’m not – but HE is and that’s who I’m walking this walk with. She told another one of my neighbors that she’s never seen someone with such a close relationship with God. Now, I’m not agreeing with her – boy do I have a lot of learning still – but my cancer brought her closer to me, which allowed her to see my GOD!
I am having test after test done at CBCC (Comprehensive Blood and Cancer Center) here in Bakersfield. I will also be having my 8 cycles of chemo and 5-6 weeks of radiation. Let’s face it, CBCC is now my “home away from home”! The first time I walked in there, I saw the many “hats” in the waiting room. I knew that this is the place that was going to make me sick – feel tired – want to throw up – and the worse of all, loose my hair. As I walked up to the sign-in area, I looked at all the faces behind the counters. My inside was saying – don’t like them – they are taking you to the places that you will not like. Then my heart kicked in … when I reached the counter, I was smiling, asking questions about their day, and trying to crack a few jokes. They looked at me like I was an alien from a different planet. I have cancer – what am I doing caring about them! Like I said, I go in there almost daily for something. Now, I walk up and they all start talking to me right away. What do they think about me? Do they see something different? Are they curious? I think so – and I have many more days to work on that!
The cost of cancer is GREAT! It’s costing me time with surgeries, rehabilitation, tests and treatments. It’s costing me WAY TOO MUCH money. It’s costing me time with my family and the ability to be an active mom on some days. It’s costing me the normal ability to “plan” events. It’s costing me my HAIR… OUCH! Through all of the costs, it’s bringing me closer to my neighbors – neighbors that probably have no clue where they are spending their eternal life. Is my “cost” going to allow me to “love” them – I think so!
Look at the “my” cost of cancer that I’m willing to undergo for my neighbors. How dare I stop for a second and feel sorry for myself. Nowhere in the list of my costs did I mention DEATH! Christ loves His neighbors – or children. Praise Him that it includes ME. Christ didn’t just have to give up time to sit in the most comfy chemo chairs. He didn’t have to have the cost of a few surgeries and an arm to rehabilitate. He didn’t have the cost – the forbidden cost of being “bald”. No, Christ had the cost of being beaten almost to death. He had the cost of people spitting on Him. He had the cost of watching His mom have to see what they were doing to her child. He had the cost of bearing all of our sins or wrong stuff we do on His shoulders. He had the cost off a thorn crown pounded into his head. He had the cost of nails driven through his palms and feet. He had the cost of being apart from His father. He had the cost of DEATH!
Breast Cancer... what if God did “plan” and not just “allow” me to have it? I will try to thank Him because He has given me more opportunities to love my neighbors – even if in my eyes, the cost seems great! For I know my cost of loving my neighbors will NEVER compare to the cost He accepted to love me!!!!
Donna,
Thank you for the reminder of what is important. I realize how often I forget the ultimate sacrifice of the cross. Your beauty in Christ is growing daily, thank you for sharing it. I am blessed to call you sister and friend!
Carolann