They say that we can learn everything we need to know from children. We can learn how to be honest. We can learn how to show pain and sadness and not cover it up. We can show our fears and not be ashamed. We can see true faith - believing in something you haven't seen. Why do children learn from us - why aren't we spending more time learning from them?
My cancer has made me learn from my children. What have I learned the most ... I have learned that my children have the strongest foundation of faith that I can only dream up having. I have learned that my children understand that the sole purpose they are on this earth is to be God's workers. They understand that - they have accepted the job! They didn't ask what the job was first. They didn't ask what would the cost be for them. They heard what the assignment was through our incredible children's ministry - through reading the Bible - I'd like to say from Lon and I too, and they moved forward. I am in awe of my children! Praise God for giving me the gift to be their mom on this earth!
Here's just a few examples since Nov 22 when we heard the words .. you have Breast Cancer...
After telling the kids I have cancer, Keona asked if I'd lose my hair like "Miss Julie" did. I said yes. Keona's comment, "Don't worry mom! God teaches us to love others because of their heart - not their outward appearance!"
When I told Zavier that I was going to have my boob cut off (yes, we are VERY blunt around here) He said, "Mom I know that you love God and are a Christian. When you die, God will take you to heaven." That hit me, but not as hard as what I heard when I came home from the hospital. In one of our alone times, Zavier said, "Mom, I thought you'd die the minute they cut part of your body off!" In Zavier's young but big heart, he had already said good-bye to his mom - but was unselfish and happy to know his mom would be in heaven!
Keona has told the world about mom having only one boob! Yes, the neighborhood kids look differently at me know - you can just see their minds turning and wondering what it looks like under my shirt :-) I asked Keona why she needed to tell everyone. She replied, "Mom, they need to see that God is helping us through this! This is a great way to talk about God wth the other kids." Can't say I have used my cancer to talk about God to an unbeliever yet - why not?
The cards, prayers, food, childcare has poured in like you can't imagine! I praise God for the authentic community that He placed us in before the cancer journey began. Obviously, so does Keona. She told me once, "in the Bible we are told to help others - to give them anything they need - Mom, that's why people are helping us! That's why we need to continue to give our clothes and old toys to others" I don't think I understood the gift of giving and the gift of receiving until this year - when our finances got low. Why did Keona grasp it so early - good teaching - OR not so many years of greed built up. I have to ask myself what took me so long!?
Being in the right place at the right time is not a freak accident. Keona's comment once, "Well, at least you didn't cancer until God has us in Bakersfield where He wanted us!" My chldren are learning that God has this all planned. Oh yeah, we adults know that, but do we believe it!!? How many times do we sit back scratching our chin saying .. my gosh, look how this is all playing out - like it was planned ... like duh :-)
My final lesson from Keona this week - not dealing with cancer - but dealing with hurt came when Delana was ready to go back to Texas. Yes, Delana has returned to her life in Houston - can't really go into detail because I have too many emotions to deal with first. Anyway, one of my emotions is definitely hurt and anger that I am dealing with. I couldn't talk to Delana the last few days she was here - didn't have the words and my heart was not in the right place. Keona was upset for Kaci and not pleased with Delana's decision, but she put that aside. Keona made her sister a pillow for her long drive back. Inside the pillow was a paper, it said, "Delana, God will be with you where ever you go and whatever you do! Love, Keona" ... Why didn't I say that to my own daughter. I wasn't even caring that God was with her the day she left. Delana created a situation that we all have to deal with. Keona pushed that aside for later and still showed her sister that she cared. I didn't! How many times has God said to me, "Donna, I still love you" when He had too many emotions to deal with because of my "wrong doings". How many times have I done the same "wrong thing" over and over. Well, let me tell you something ... a child will show you how to be Christlike! They will really love you no matter what!
There are more stories but I'll get typing cramps! Bottom line - I have the most incredible kids! You probably do too :-) Listen to your children - learn from your children - try to act like your chldren in "God" situations! With our age, comes a lot of bad habits - misconceived notions - inner pride. Here's to our young but wise teachers .... "OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BABES"!
Posted by donnab at January 14, 2005 10:37 PM